Same ole, same ole

It’s been a little while since I’ve shared. There’s honestly not a whole lot to update on. I talked in the last entry about Colin and his progress, and I just read through it and it was almost as though I was reading someone else’s blog, not my own.

We haven’t yet settled on a daycare for Colin. I did a walk through of a smaller facility with smaller class sizes, but they’re far from our home, more expensive than the other daycares, they don’t provide lunches, and we would have to provide breakfast at least two days a week because Colin is allergic to eggs, and they have eggs on Thursdays and Fridays.  I was also having a difficult time trusting that he would be well-behaved, and wouldn’t be kicked out for the slightest misbehaving. We have had a terrible time with childcare, and I just cannot risk him not being able to go to daycare for one reason or another. He’s always been very well-behaved in daycare, it’s just a paranoia I have, I suppose.

I haven’t been doing the greatest. I suffer from severe anxiety, and ran out of my medications, and because I don’t know how to adult properly, I never made the appointment to refill them. Today my good friend, we’ve known each other since we were preteens, talked me through my entire adulting for today. “Go get your TB test and flu shot. Okay, good, now call and make an appointment to refill your meds. Okay, good job, now clean your living room.” It’s sad, but I needed that today. Sometimes I adult well, but lately without my medication I just cannot function properly. I do the bare minimum to survive and keep Colin alive, and that’s all I’m really capable of.

However, I start NURSING SCHOOL in less than a month and I have A LOT of things to do and buy in preparation, and I need to get my head on straight and just do it. I have wanted this for years, and I finally have it and just thinking about that reality makes it so that I can barely breathe and I want to cry. Anyway, this isn’t about me, it’s about Colin.

He has become impossible to put to bed, and he won’t sleep through the dang night anymore. HOWEVER, he has started peeing on the potty again, and he has NOT pooped on his bedroom floor in a while! So YAY for that. I suppose I don’t have a whole lot to update on, I have been terrible about getting the ball rolling on his preschool, I really need to take care of that before the quarter begins. I’ll actually do that now. Thanks for reading!

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